1. portalgifs:

    NO BUT YOU ALL NEED TO UNDERSTAND HOW FUNNY THIS IS THEYRE LITERALLY FILLING A ROBOT WITH BULLETS, LIKE BULLETS THAT YOU FIRE FROM A GUN. NOW NORMALLY FIRING A GUN TRIGGERS THE BULLET TO EXPLODE CREATING A PRESSURE THAT CAUSES THE TIP OF THE BULLET TO BE FORCED OUT OF THE BARREL AT A HIGH SPEED. 

    WHaT CAVE JOHNSON’S TURRET’S DO IS LOAD A TON OF FUCKING BULLETS INTO THE CASE OF THE SENTRY LIKE IT”S A GODDAMN GUMBALL MACHINE AND THEN USE A FUcKIN SPRING LOADED PISTON TO FIRE IT THAT IS SO UNNECESSARY AND INEFFECTIVE LIKE NO WONDER CHELL CAN RESIST SO MANY BULLETS THE LIKELIHOOD ITD CAUSE ANYTHING MORE THAN A BAD BRUISE IS LIKE ONE IN A HUNDRED

    The entire video is gold to be honest

    (Source: bustedbitmap, via jesslaughingalonewithnewleaf)

     

  2. nerdofchaos:

    recreationalcannibalism:

    the-adequate-gatsby:

    stultifyandstupefy:

    derpes:

    And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”

    And Abraham replied, “What.”

    God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.

    And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”

    To which they responded, “Gay.” 

    And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.

    see you all in hell

    (via musingsbyascot)

     
  3. strangelybeautifulworld:

    nympherret:

    like how much more obvious does this need to be made for people to get it?

    this isnt even an exaggeration 

    like at all

    the pile should actually be bigger, if made of $20 notes, many of the proponents of lower minimum wage would have a pile with a similar volume as a blue whale.

    (Source: america-wakiewakie, via musingsbyascot)

     

    1. my sister: oh my god
    2. me: what?
    3. my sister: i just realized something
    4. me: ?
    5. my sister: gaston is a nice guy.
    6. me: ...? um, no, sorry, he's an asshole.
    7. my sister: no, no, no, gaston is a 'nice guy'. think about it. he spends the whole beginning of the movie trying to be friendly to belle. everyone else in that town thinks she's a bookish freak with a crazy man for a father, but gaston like, talks to her and sort of tries to take an interest in her activities and compliments her and stuff with the complete 100% expectation that she's going to pay him back by being in a relationship with him. he tunes out what she actually says because he doesn't really think of her as a person, just a pretty trophy who should react to him the right way if he does the right things.
    8. me: huh
    9. my sister: and then when she hooks up with someone else, he gets all angry and shouty and insists that this other guy is a monster and she's lost her damn mind because she was supposed to fall for HIM, not someone else, and then he goes and stirs up the townsfolk into an angry mob and turns the whole thing into a witch hunt over his wounded pride.
    10. me: O_O
    11. my sister: gaston is a nice guy.
     

  4. twinkletwinkleyoulittlefuck:

    cell-mate:

    crackerhell:

    ethanwearsprada:

    i think it’s a universal truth that everyone in our generation takes pluto’s losing its planetary status as a personal offense

    yes

    pluto is smaller than russia. why did we ever even consider it a planet?

    BECAUSE IT’S A PART OF OUR SOLAR SYSTEM

    OHANA MEANS FAMILY

    FAMILY MEANS NO ONE IS LEFT BEHIND

    and yet people ignore Ceres, which us in the inner solar system, Eris which is bigger than Pluto, plus makemake and haumau. All the people saying they at pluto should be a planet aren’t saying it since they like Pluto, I’ve never seen interesting facts about Pluto only ravings that the IAU should add ‘and Pluto’ to the regiorous definition of planet.

    (via musingsbyascot)

     

  5. Nice things to whisper when hugging someone

    assgardian:

    yogurtville:

    -you smell different when you’re awake
    -please help me (then smile as if nothing happened)
    -soon
    -you have lovely skin, I can’t wait to wear it
    -your hair tastes like strawberries
    -tonight….you.
    -he knows, don’t go home.
    -I always knew you would die in my arms
    -every time I poop I think of you
    -no one will ever believe you
    -yessssssssssssss
    -I killed mufasa
    -I bet you didn’t feel me lick your ear
    -mother told me it would be like this

    hail hydra

    ~it’s all orge now

    (via musingsbyascot)